When I was growing up in Asia, social etiquette included the unwritten manner that men ruled and women were “to be seen but not to be heard.”
At that young age, I often fantasized about being a man so I could laugh out loud, joke openly amongst my peers, go anywhere, and freely do anything to my heart’s content without ridicule or chastisement. Free like a horse I dreamed …
… Until I came to America… fast forward 2013…
where and when sexual harassment has become an emotional way of “revenge” for many women when they don’t get what they want, and have discovered a new way to make men pay, dearly!
In these cases men lose their reputations, and their pocket books suffer from humongous legal defense bills trying to proving their innocence.
The U.S Law requires that the burden of proof rest upon the plaintiff, the accuser. However, a person can be mean-spirited by filing a law suit without a shred of evidence that she was sexually harassed. And, sexual harassment is he said she said, which is quite difficult to prove.
So easily done in the land of California as many attorneys willingly take on cases for nothing based on contingency fees. So, when there is no financial loss to the plaintiff, and much to gain (books, movie deals, sympathy, fame), many women use sexual harassment as their trump card.
(This is photo of Brian Banks, Falsely Accused of Rape, Sentenced 7 Years in jail and Lifetime Registered Sex Offender, aka. the modern day Scarlet letter).
Accuser Keeps $1.5 Million Award As Rape Victim). Here is the link:
Therefore, I am so glad that I am a woman in this century, living in the United States of America where women rule; and men… oh well, you can fill in the rest.
Here is my advice to well-to-do men on avoiding a sexual harassment lawsuit:
1. Do not compliment her as this can be interpreted as “sexual harassment”. You have no right to tell her she looks pretty amazing and super duper cute, and never mind that she was blowing a kiss your way! Here is your ”sexual harassment buster 101″ lesson: breath in, breath out and chant “I see nothing, I say nothing, I hear nothing. Please keep me safe from a sexual harassment law suit.”
2. Do not smile; sexual harassment for sure. Your smile can be seen as “a come-on, seducing smile!” which made her pretty nervous that could affect her work performance. She also could suffer mental distress, all because of your smiley face!
3. Do not look at her, for this can be perceived as intimidating or threatening.
4. Do not agree to pose for a photo with her, especially with your arms around whomever she is as this will be interpreted of you pulling her into your arms, for she was too intimated to release herself, but forced to smile and suffer the photo-op.
5. Don’t hug. Now, why are you hugging someone other than your wife? Unless you are in Italy, where men are known to pinch, don’t do it! By the way, Italian men, words of caution: if you must pinch, be sure to pinch all women, all ages, otherwise, the women were not pinched, can sue you for discrimination! We do have the International law now, have you heard?
6. Don’t have body contact. Remain at arm’s length, always. If you have a body guard, have your body guard stand between you and her. Make sure that you hire a male body guard, otherwise female guard can sue you too, a double whammy. In this photo, Mr. Star Trek was a bit careless, his hand was resting on my arm. Was he flirting? Did he squeeze my arm with intention to intimidate me? Could you see my “helpless, nervous smile?” Oh my!
7. When in doubt, follow the Asian custom: Bow to each other, no touching. Having nuns and monks surrounded you as witnesses, chaperons would be quite helpful, as seen here in the photo of my mentor, Thay Thich Nhat Hanh and Oprah.
and declare you are a born again Asian, as seen in photo of our former President George Bush; and Putin, that you are taught not to shake hands, nor compliment.
8. And if you cannot display a serious look, just mimic Jet Li’s poker face,
9. or have a look like ”I have no interest in her. I am forced to take a photo with this woman,” as seen here in the photo of me and Dr. Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin, the first historic Apollo XI moon walk (no, not a moon walk like Michael Jackson, but physically walked on the moon. Dr. Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were the first two humans to set foot on another world).
Lastly, don’t answer her emails or phone calls personally.
Believe me, it is much more economical to hire someone to take calls, and reply to her emails for you.
Don’t believe me? Think of Bob Filner, our Mayor of San Diego. I could be his # 1001 accuser because he dared to smile and put his arm around me, as seen here in this photo!
As always, I welcome your feedback. Email us Gwen@GwenCoronado.com